#2 - Peace

No, its not exactly the first thing I have on my mind these days. In fact, the concept falls a bit short of scaring me to death. And for that reason, the restlessness and impatience in me tends to trump anything and everything I take on - whether it is successfully sitting through an entire Sopranos episode, my friendships with people, or the philosophy by which I live life. Is this being fickle? Perhaps. Am I worried? Hell no.

Youth is meant to be riddled with questioning, and uncertainty, and exploration. Everyone tends to go through that phase at one point or another, and well, that phase is currently running and going strong in the life of yours truly.

But it is interesting to note how quickly some people drop out of it. And the reason they do drop out of that phase constitutes the thin line between maturity and "settling." It is basically the difference between having a dependence on the condition of peace and stability in your life, and the less needy sentiment of simply accepting it as a part of a happy life.

Questioning, and the extreme poles of emotion that come along with that questioning, are essential in realizing your own range of potential and is the most instinctive and natural of conditions. In childhood, people carry out an unrestricted inquisition about everything, and consequently our rate of learning is the highest at that time. The happiness we experience as a child is so pure, and the quiet sadness just as. Our experiences are, on a whole, pure emotion.

As we get older, we start just accepting things and become too weary to challenge what life throws our way - some things because we have been taught through experience and time, but others because we are afraid. In that state of risk aversion, people settle. We no longer question, and when that happens some people end up with blind faith, some with no faith. Some people close themselves off from everyone, never allowing themselves to love, in fear of getting hurt or simply a fear of pure emotion. Life is taken at face value, and they live on because they must. Feeling becomes a sidenote, and the head tramples the heart.

This is hardly peace. It is stagnancy. It is ignorance, and unfortunately, its difficult, if not impossible, to leave this stage once in it. The raging fire in your heart that you've carried with you since childhood needs to be tamed, not extinguished, and once it's out, it's out.

Sure, you can't rush yourself to quickly "feel" and "experience" and then go on and wait for peace to come around and reward you for your efforts. It will come when you're ready, when you're prudent enough to fully realize that the middle way, stability, clarity, enlightenment - whatever you want to call it - is what ultimately will give meaning to the life you've lived so far.

Who knows. Right now, I'm not going to claim I've patented a definition for what peace is, nor do I want peace anytime soon. I'll find it when I reach a point in my life where I feel with my heart to find it. I like the chaos that goes on in my head at the moment. It's a welcome entertainment when the rest of the world seems to be too narrow-minded to really offer any inspiration.

But I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's important to note that life is meant to be lived, not paused during a particularly safe point of reference. Highs and lows alike should be welcomed with open arms. Clarity only comes to those who move towards it, and in order to move you need to keep growing and learning and experiencing.

So be a kid. Ask annoying questions. Explore daring avenues. And peace can take a back seat for a while.

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#1 - Juvenile?

Hardly.

The concept of a blog that is accessible to anyone and everyone may seem like something that would be appealing exclusively to an angsty teeny bopper, eager to publicly announce her prom date (of course, to make his ex-gf burn in jealousy) or to proclaim her new obsession with fake eyelashes (very trendy, I hear).

Alas, times are a-changing, and nowadays everyone who's anyone has a blog. Hell, I bet even Osama Bin Laden has a secret blog where he reveals all his plans of world domination in plain English. Except everyone thinks the blog belongs to "Joe White", some rebel, goth kid from Southern Iowa who watched a bit too much of Pinky and the Brain as a kid. Where's the Patriot Act when you need it.

But no, a blog is the "cool" thing to do these days. Or so I tell myself in dire hopes of justifying the creation of this thing to the very haughty, anti-bandwagon conscience that reigns over my right shoulder. In these attempts to be cool, however, I do not intend on reliving my Xanga years. I realize now that a script for Prozac and a canine best friend would've solved 99% of the problems I publicized via the oh-so-handy rant journal back in middle school. This blog won't be used to whine, complain, and ramble on about the "woes of life." Life can be quite irritating, to put it lightly. But I do enough complaining to a select few who, by now, probably want to strangle me and watch me slowly asphyxiate to death - I'd rather not increase that pool of people.

So what the hell is this blog about, if its not going to be about how much I hate life and where I'm going to cut myself next? I have no clue. I guess you'll find out as I do.

And that still doesn't answer the question: Why?
Boredom, a creative outlet, slight resurgence of teeny bopper attention needs, borderline intent of world domination - you pick. The important thing is that it's here. I write. You read. The end.



Enjoy the ride.

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