#2 - Peace

No, its not exactly the first thing I have on my mind these days. In fact, the concept falls a bit short of scaring me to death. And for that reason, the restlessness and impatience in me tends to trump anything and everything I take on - whether it is successfully sitting through an entire Sopranos episode, my friendships with people, or the philosophy by which I live life. Is this being fickle? Perhaps. Am I worried? Hell no.

Youth is meant to be riddled with questioning, and uncertainty, and exploration. Everyone tends to go through that phase at one point or another, and well, that phase is currently running and going strong in the life of yours truly.

But it is interesting to note how quickly some people drop out of it. And the reason they do drop out of that phase constitutes the thin line between maturity and "settling." It is basically the difference between having a dependence on the condition of peace and stability in your life, and the less needy sentiment of simply accepting it as a part of a happy life.

Questioning, and the extreme poles of emotion that come along with that questioning, are essential in realizing your own range of potential and is the most instinctive and natural of conditions. In childhood, people carry out an unrestricted inquisition about everything, and consequently our rate of learning is the highest at that time. The happiness we experience as a child is so pure, and the quiet sadness just as. Our experiences are, on a whole, pure emotion.

As we get older, we start just accepting things and become too weary to challenge what life throws our way - some things because we have been taught through experience and time, but others because we are afraid. In that state of risk aversion, people settle. We no longer question, and when that happens some people end up with blind faith, some with no faith. Some people close themselves off from everyone, never allowing themselves to love, in fear of getting hurt or simply a fear of pure emotion. Life is taken at face value, and they live on because they must. Feeling becomes a sidenote, and the head tramples the heart.

This is hardly peace. It is stagnancy. It is ignorance, and unfortunately, its difficult, if not impossible, to leave this stage once in it. The raging fire in your heart that you've carried with you since childhood needs to be tamed, not extinguished, and once it's out, it's out.

Sure, you can't rush yourself to quickly "feel" and "experience" and then go on and wait for peace to come around and reward you for your efforts. It will come when you're ready, when you're prudent enough to fully realize that the middle way, stability, clarity, enlightenment - whatever you want to call it - is what ultimately will give meaning to the life you've lived so far.

Who knows. Right now, I'm not going to claim I've patented a definition for what peace is, nor do I want peace anytime soon. I'll find it when I reach a point in my life where I feel with my heart to find it. I like the chaos that goes on in my head at the moment. It's a welcome entertainment when the rest of the world seems to be too narrow-minded to really offer any inspiration.

But I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's important to note that life is meant to be lived, not paused during a particularly safe point of reference. Highs and lows alike should be welcomed with open arms. Clarity only comes to those who move towards it, and in order to move you need to keep growing and learning and experiencing.

So be a kid. Ask annoying questions. Explore daring avenues. And peace can take a back seat for a while.

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